People say that growing up is about finding yourself, finding your identity. They say that this quest to find yourself is for your own benefit -- so you can be your full self, unlock full happiness and live your best life now.
Are these people wrong? Well, sometimes those elements result, but I believe they aren't the end goal, they result simply as a side effect.
I think that the real reason finding your identity is so vital is because you lose your preoccupation with yourself.
From a place of knowing your identity, you can recognise your strengths and talents and use them most strongly in serving others. You can see what passions and stories ignite you and then turn and see how these things allow you to bring joy and shine light into the lives those around you.
You see, identity isn’t actually just about you, and that is one of the most important realisations of how to find who you really are: Identity is not about embracing who you really are. It’s about embracing who Jesus really is, and in embracing His truth, finding who you actually are.
Jesus is Lord of lords and King of kings and he holds the universe in the palm of his hand. This means your identity is as a servant of the Almighty God. God has adopted us, redeemed us and called us His own. This means you identity is as a child of the All-knowing, Heavenly Father. Jesus calls you to follow Him and live in his ways. This means your identity is a follower of the Creator and Saviour of the world.
Jesus is the truth and the life. This means we are able to find the truth: the truth about our identity and the way to live “as our true selves.” You see, He tells us very specifically how to find our true life:
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” - Matthew 16:25
The biggest step in finding who we is this: completely losing ourselves to Jesus. When we continually surrender our life to Jesus on deeper and deeper levels, we will continue to know Him more. And in this, we lose ourselves because we see truth, we see Him, more and more clearly. We lose our focus on ourselves and our desires and our successes and, instead, desire and chase after Jesus more and more.
This changes us. Gandhi once said: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself the service of others.” I believe that the best way to find yourself is in the service of others in the pursuit of knowing Jesus.
In laying our life down, we are able to pick up more of real, true, full life that Jesus has promised us (John 10:10).
Often I have found that a key on the journey of identity is brokenness. Many a time, it is when the things we have built our lives on begin to shake that we best find out who we are and who Jesus is to us. I am thankful for each moment when I was broken because this meant that I was more deeply able to come to Jesus in surrender.
I can now tell you with absolute confidence: I am His.
That belonging is changing what my life looks like. And there are great side effects: security in who I am, deep joy, pervasive peace, hope for the future and freedom like no other.
When we lose ourselves to Him, we truly find so, so much more.
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