X's & No's

Have you ever found yourself with an expectation that you feel like God just isn't meeting? A shattered dream that you so believed God had placed in your heart. A never ending cycle of disappointments. A plan that you had so perfectly crafted going completely awry.

Right now across the world there are a million different versions of “Don’t you see me God?” happening. And so we doubt and get angry and lonely and we shake our fist at the sky asking why.

In Genesis 48, something like this happens to Joseph, of the technicolour dreamcoat fame. He has brought his two sons to his father Israel for his blessing. Culturally this was a critical, massive, pre-planned thing that was about to take place. The oldest son was about to receive Israel’s blessing. At least, that's what Joseph had expected and planned. He placed all his ducks (i.e. his sons) in a row, strategically positioning them to ensure things all went according to his, and what he was so convinced was also God's, plan.

But then his father crossed his arms. 

An X was formed that resulted in the wrong son getting the blessing. An X was formed that led to Joseph's plans and expectations being rudely ignored. 

This change of plans did not sit well with Joseph. How dare Israel not follow the tradition and the plan?! Joseph even tried to literally force his father's hand to change it to be how he thought it should be. Joseph says, “No, my father, you're wrong, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head.” expecting the reply of: "Oh whoops, my bad, let me quickly fix that for you."

But Israel's reply is something entirely different. He says, "I know, my son, I know."

What a thing to say to someone watching their dreams and plans crumble. "I know. "

And in the midst of our broken hearts, missed dreams, failed plans, unmet expectations, I believe our Father with his arms crossed in an X says this:

"I know, my son, my daughter, I know. That thing you long for is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. I know this hurts and stings and confuses all you know. I know you feel like I am distant and unaware of where you are and who you are and how you think life was supposed to turn out. I know right now you doubt that I have your best interests at heart. But know for certain that I am not done. I have barely even started to reveal my goodness to you. I am the God who satisfies your desires with good things. It's who I inherently am! And when it comes to your hopes and your longings and your dreams, I know. I perfectly know."

In the midst of the X's and the no's, He knows.