Personally, I'm not a fan of alcohol. I have always really disliked the taste of alcohol in all forms: the sherry in trifle on Christmas Day, a friend's wine at a dinner, beer at the cricket, gin & tonic at a party. I have yet to drink alcohol in any shape or form that I've actually enjoyed and due to that I see it as a complete waste of both common sense and money. That, coupled with a firm conviction that getting drunk is against God's ways, has resulted in me being 100% sober for life.
Being a homeschool kid, I wasn't exposed too much to the pressures of drinking. My closest friends were from youth and for the most part they shared my convictions. Through the sport I played for a local school, club and provincial, there was a little more pressure to drink, but as I was not a so-called 'legal eagle' at this stage, no one overtly tried to force it on me.
Cut to varsity, where I was just the goody two shoes overachiever nerd that almost no one would have even invited to a party or place where there would be alcohol. I never reached out to anyone outside my core group, and even they were just 'varsity friends', someone to sit next to in lectures. So still, despite now being legally able to drink, I hadn't found myself in anything close to an alcohol-soaked rage or even just being offered a beer.
At the age of 21, I graduated and began work at an accounting/auditing firm. You've probably heard this before, but there is a huge misconception that all accountants are timid, quiet, introverts that wear baggy grey suits and sit in cubicles doing sums on their calculators. Boy, did my new work environment prove that whole idea wrong. I found myself working and interacting with some of the wildest, loudest, most outgoing people I've ever met.
For the first time in my life I consistently found myself in somewhat uncomfortable places and conversations. Have a drink, come to the club, have a cigarette, swear, oh come on have just one drink, why don't you have a boyfriend, hook up with that guy, here's a drink I bought for you- you have to drink it now. It was incessant. I genuinely worried that this is what the full 3 years of my articles would look like. I joked that I should get the words "NO THANKS" tattooed on my forehead, as it felt like all I ever said.
But thank the Lord, I stuck to my guns. Despite the threat of being unpopular and lonely, (by the grace of Jesus alone) I managed to root myself in my identity as a daughter of God. I developed a thick skin that allowed words like lame, prude, hectic religious, etc to roll off me like water off a duck's back. I held onto the bigger picture of life and eternity that caused the callous words to lose their potency. I learned that there is no shame in saying no and that people tend to respect a firm, convicted no way more than a wavering yes.
In the midst of the no's I did my best to love, to be consistent and kind and approachable. I continued to hang out with them even when we were on opposite ends of the sober scale. I actively tried to break the stereotype of judge-y, haughty Christianity. I showed up and I opened up.
To the shock of Day 1 at Work Kelsey, despite my thousand no's, these very same people grew to accept me and respect me and want me around. Possibly just for my sober driving skills at first, but with many, it grew into actual friendship. To the point where someone I now hold as one of my dearest friends said to me one year in, "I know you're hectic about what you believe, so I was waiting for you to judge me, but you haven't, you've just loved me." That pretty much sums up my life's goal!
So I've learnt that my convictions and unconditional love for those around me aren't mutually exclusive. I've learnt that I can say no whilst still being open to the very people who ask me these things. I pray that in doing this, people continue to see glimpses of Jesus in me. I pray that my no's give strength to the backbones of those around me.
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