I Can Do It

“I can do it.”
“I'll be fine.”
“Thanks, but no thanks.”

This tends to be my attitude towards most things people offer me help with. I am a strong, independent woman, and I can do it myself!  I don't easily let anyone, especially a guy, help me. I even once, in a moment of supreme frustration at continually be offered help (dumb, I know!), lashed out at the sweetest guy, calling him a "male chauvinist" and effectively telling him to never offer his help again. Thankfully, because he is a lovely human and not at all what I accused him of being, he forgave me and still does offer his help.

But what it is, what causes me to lash out when help is offered? Whether I can handle it or not, I don’t want help. Accepting help is way harder than it should be.

I think it simply comes down to pride. Accepting help requires acknowledgement that maybe I don't have it all it takes. Accepting help requires humility. Accepting help shows that we’re weak.

But maybe that's not such a bad thing?

In 2 Corinthians 12:10 Paul said, "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

That doesn't seem to make any sense. How can we be strong when we are weak? Think about it though. When we think we’re strong, do we want help? Nope, of course not, because "We can do it."

But the big question is, if we are strong, self-sufficient and can do everything ourselves, where does Jesus fit in in our lives? If we don’t realize our limitations, if we forever say, “I can do it,” we will end up totally pushing God out of the picture.

The verse before the above one says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

It’s okay to be weak. It is in our weakness that we find the fullness of the strength of our God. And then in HIS strength we are able to live strong lives. We certainly can't do everything on our own, but through Christ who strengthens us we can do all the things (Phil 4:13).

Let Him be your strength. We are inherently weak, but man, our God is oh so strong!

The 'I' In Identity

People say that growing up is about finding yourself, finding your identity. They say that this quest to find yourself is for your own benefit -- so you can be your full self, unlock full happiness and live your best life now.

Are these people wrong? Well, sometimes those elements result, but I believe they aren't the end goal, they result simply as a side effect.

I think that the real reason finding your identity is so vital is because you lose your preoccupation with yourself.

From a place of knowing your identity, you can recognise your strengths and talents and use them most strongly in serving others. You can see what passions and stories ignite you and then turn and see how these things allow you to bring joy and shine light into the lives those around you.

You see, identity isn’t actually just about you, and that is one of the most important realisations of how to find who you really are: Identity is not about embracing who you really are. It’s about embracing who Jesus really is, and in embracing His truth, finding who you actually are.

Jesus is Lord of lords and King of kings and he holds the universe in the palm of his hand. This means your identity is as a servant of the Almighty God. God has adopted us, redeemed us and called us His own. This means you identity is as a child of the All-knowing, Heavenly Father. Jesus calls you to follow Him and live in his ways. This means your identity is a follower of the Creator and Saviour of the world.

Jesus is the truth and the life. This means we are able to find the truth: the truth about our identity and the way to live “as our true selves.” You see, He tells us very specifically how to find our true life:

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” - Matthew 16:25

The biggest step in finding who we is this: completely losing ourselves to Jesus. When we continually surrender our life to Jesus on deeper and deeper levels, we will continue to know Him more. And in this, we lose ourselves because we see truth, we see Him, more and more clearly. We lose our focus on ourselves and our desires and our successes and, instead, desire and chase after Jesus more and more.

This changes us. Gandhi once said: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself the service of others.” I believe that the best way to find yourself is in the service of others in the pursuit of knowing Jesus.

In laying our life down, we are able to pick up more of real, true, full life that Jesus has promised us (John 10:10).

Often I have found that a key on the journey of identity is brokenness. Many a time, it is when the things we have built our lives on begin to shake that we best find out who we are and who Jesus is to us. I am thankful for each moment when I was broken because this meant that I was more deeply able to come to Jesus in surrender.

I can now tell you with absolute confidence: I am His.

That belonging is changing what my life looks like. And there are great side effects: security in who I am, deep joy, pervasive peace, hope for the future and freedom like no other.

When we lose ourselves to Him, we truly find so, so much more.

Don't Spoil It With Questions

In the new Mary Poppins movie, when she tells the kids that they're going to the Royal Doulton Music Hall, their responses are:

- "Where?"
- "What's that??"

But Mary Poppins doesn't give them the answers they were looking for. Instead, her response is, of course, practically perfect in every way: "We're on the brink of an adventure children. Don't spoil it with questions."

The unknown scares me. I don't like making decisions without knowing all the variables, all the pros and cons fully weighed up. Walking into a dark room freaks me out because I can't see what it holds. I don't look forward to going to a party when I don't know who will be there. The future can be overwhelming because I can't predict and plan for all that it holds.

We love to have all the answers and know all the things, don't we?

Unfortunately for the planners and understanders among us, a life of faith is not one filled with every answer, all the time. In fact, faith is pretty much the opposite of that. And faith is what we're called to live by.

Sometimes God does explain and sometimes He doesn't. And that's okay. Because obedience doesn't require explanation.

But it does require trust. Trust that He who calls us is all knowing and inherently loving and good (1 John 3:20). Trust that He has our best interests at heart and works all things for our good (Romans 8). Trust that he sees the end and knows our stories and has a plan (Jere 29 / Psalm 139).

When we trust Him, it enables us to freely obey. Obey without explanations. Obey without answers.

And when we do, we will find ourselves on the most incredible adventure with Jesus.

Success Sucks

"They got the dream I prayed for and I didn’t, so clearly that means that my dream is over."
"They got that promotion and I didn’t, so I’ll put them down because I obviously deserved it more."
"They got the good news and I got the bad, so that must mean God listened to their prayers and ignored mine."

Any of that sound a little familiar? If we’re honest, we can all view life a little bit like a competition.

The world places so much emphasis on doing better and being more than someone else that we can get lost in all of the striving. The striving to achieve success first. The striving to make our dreams bigger and better than theirs.

And in the midst of all this striving, we miss what really matters.

We have to realize that life isn’t a competition at all. Life is a journey that we’re walking with each other, not against each other.

Why do we get so hurt when someone else achieves what we hoped for? I think maybe it's because we let success define us.

Have you ever been rejected for something you worked really hard for? Have you ever fought for a dream, only for it to never be within your reach? Sometimes we can allow that to define us as a failure.

But our worth is not defined by our success. Our success and achievements do not define who we are. Our worth is not measured by how much we achieve in life. Our worth is measured in Whose we are. As children of God, we are completely loved by God (1 John 3:1) – with or without any form of success.

Perhaps worse than just not achieving your own dreams, have you ever watched someone else achieve the same dream you prayed so hard for? Doesn't that just feel so unfair?

But let’s set something straight: Someone else’s success does not have the power to interrupt God’s plan for your life. Their success does not affect your success. There is not a limited amount of success to go around. Just because they succeeded does not mean that you won’t succeed too.

And if I may be so bold as to say, if you’re feeling like their success overshadows yours, perhaps that's a red flag to look at your motive for success. Romans 12:10 in the Message says "practice playing second fiddle." The greater purpose of our success is to add to the symphony of what God is doing across the globe. So when the spotlight is on someone else, we don't stop playing. Even hidden in the dark, we play to glorify our King.

A few verses later in Romans 12, we're called to rejoice in the success of others. It tells us, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

We’re all doing life together. We’re all figuring this out together. And fighting against one another or turning everything into a competition is not going to display Jesus well and it's not going to help our dream at all.

When someone achieves an important success, we should be the first to rejoice with them! Celebrate with them. Show them that you care and love and support them.

Trust me, I don't say this lightly. I know it can be hard to watch your dream stay stuck in the mud while someone else merrily lives out what you’re praying for. But jealousy isn’t going to hurry your dream along any faster.

If it’s in God’s plan for your life, your success will come. Nothing in this world can stop God’s plan for you.

So in the meantime, keep serving and loving how he would have you serve and love.

Take heart and wait for the Lord. Your time is coming too.